I was in a ponderous mood when i wrote this.

In a couple of hours, I'll be enlisting as a recruit in the Singaporean Armed Forces
I think the army represents many things

1. the inception of adult hood. After years of noobing around in my school uniform, I finally get to don on the army uniform and handle a rifle --> a consignment to defend the motherland lol. Alex Tan will be a Man. ahahaha.

2. independence. No more waiting on my mum to do things for me. I'll have to handle most things myself now. Laundry, money etc. Sian.

3. Financial prudence. I would want my parents to give me money still after the army so i'll make more money and save them all and splurge them all come 2010 YEAAA. Gone will be the days of endless cashflow.

4. Buffness --> yes i will be buff.

Uncle Cedric has spoken to me. One thing that struck me about the army was how my life would change. I realise that I'll never be able to live my life as it is now. Less time for Church. Less time with friends. Less time for leisure. Less time for everything, all in the name of national service.

Lord help me through the army. May I never succumb to the vices and negativity associated with it. Give me strength and confidence, to resist the weariness of army and grow in spirituality and in maturity.

I hope that exhaustion never takes a hold on me.

To the people I love (and you know who you are), I'll miss spending time with you. I have a feeling I'll change, but only for the better. Please miss me too.



P.S i'll be back in 2 weeks I think?

To mei,

These two years flew by with you around. It seems like it was only yesterday when I first met you. You were clad in a red shirt and I had no frigging idea who you were, but we've come a long way from anonymity. Many can stand for that.

It's been a joy knowing you mei. You were initially my bitching partner but I levelled up and became your brother lolol. Thus, I liken our relationship to a dota game --> level 1: strangers, level 2: friends., level 3: bitching partner, level 4: mei, level 5: cousin in law??? (but still my mei of course) hahah. Always engaging, always entertaining, always enjoyable, a dota game in essence which I hope lasts for a lifetime instead of a mere 45minutes.

In all my years I've known you, I've found you to be an unassuming, selfless and loving individual. I admire and love you for being the way you are. To sum you up in a single word: awesome. For every chiding you get from your parents, every relationship problem you fall into and every indescribably, messed up situation you find yourself in, my heart aches for the torment you have to endure. But remember that I'll always be here for you mei. A-L-W-A-Y-S.

Jabez is privileged to have met someone like you. Someone of such mental calibre, emotional maturity and physical attractiveness is a rarity. Well done jabez, clap clap clap lololol. SOOO GAY. Cousin, I am proud of you for your achievement. Then again, my cousin is awesome too. So clap clap clap mei, well done to you as well (:

Such a great person so greatly misunderstood. Don't feel bad if there're people who dislike you because they dont know who you really are yet. Justin, Julian, Jabez, Joseph (frigging 4 Js wtheck?) and alex still think you rock lool.

Army calls and I have to answer. I hope our relationship continues to strengthen mei. As the school term approaches, I am confident that with your intelligence, astuteness and selfmotivation, and most importantly God's grace, Junior College will be a memorable and smooth sailing journey for you. Always look to God for courage and strength mei, plus your kor'll only be a phone call away on weekdays.

Psalms 121
I lift up my eyes to the hills --where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip --
He who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you --
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm --He will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and goingboth now and forever more.

Claim this passage mei when the stress seems insurmountable, when the scoldings seem unbearable.

A Happy 17th birthday (:

with love,
alexxx

Happy birthday to meee,
Happy birthday to meee,
Happy birthday to alex tan,
Happy birthday to mee.

I'm finally 19, 20 in 365 days time.

2008 has be gr8
I got to d8 (lol!)
not m8 (duh)
I went out during the december holidays at an amazing r8
I hope all the times playing dota didn't cause me to degenr8
Leaving my friends behind for army I will h8
The fun, joy, sadness I had, incommensur8

The above poem is mostly nonsense, but one thing's for sure - 2008 has indeed been great. I would think that this year has been my most memorable one yet. Great friends, Great fun, Great stress during the As, Great joy, Great sadness. Everything great all rolled into a single year. What an awesome year.

I look back on the year and my heart fills with so much gratitude to God for seeing me through, for providing me with all I could ever ask for.

I asked for so much.
1. For friends
- He gave me more than I could ever ask for. To ethel, serene, Julian, Justin, Mabel, Jabez, Melly, Actro, Joseph, Shawn, joel and many many others. (NO ORDER) I believe that you have all been God given and I thank Him continually for all of you. I was such a loner back then Please puhleaseeeeeee Lord let me grow closer to them during army pleaseeee.

2. For confidence
- He gave me confidence. Not confidence such that I'm able to approach any girl and hang out with her (i'm still a noob when it comes to dating and i take forever to say hi to a girl but it doesnt matter I'll be able to do so all in good time, I hope?), but confidence with who I am and what I've become. Im affirmed in my identity, that being a slacker whom everyone thinks is a mugger (walaoo), a nice guy who's easy to talk to I hope and a friend who's always here to lend a helping hand. I may look dao but braces made me look a lot friendlier. I smile more now (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((:

3. For my future
- God has constantly provided for me where academics are concerned. Thank You Lord for giving me so much, despite my heavy commitments. There were times when stress and tension had a hold on me but God always saw me through. Even as I leave the hustle of JC life, God has continued to provide for me in the form of scholarship interviews. Yeap, I've already been for a couple. GIC wasn't really nice to me but I'm okay with that.

THE 31ST OF DECEMBER.
Wasn't Good, neither was it bad, but let it not be a precursor of the year to come.Some shoutouts to the people who accompanied me that day.

To my dear friend Julian, whom I allowed to wait for 4 hours. I'm so sorry for everything - the frustration you must have felt while you waited. I suckkk. My heart broke when I saw how upset you were, never again will I allow you to wait for 4 hours. Not even a minute. I'll give you one cent for every minute im late aight.

To Jabez and Mei, Thank you for celebrating the last day of the year with me. Let the fireworks display be a reflection of your relationship --> EXPLOSIVE AND IMBA. but longer lived than frigging 10minutes. 10 minutes of pleasure for an hour of agony ploughing through human traffic. awesome.

To pearlyn, Thank you for being there. You're so funny loooooooool. I thoroughly enjoyed spying on the two of them with you during the Perak trip etc etc.

Every new year post is incomplete without some new year resolutions. regardless of whether such resolutions will be kept or not. Hence, I shall list a couple of resolutions that will, hopefully, guide me through the year.

Spiritual resolutions
1. To read the bible everyday
2. To carry memory verses with me through my national service
3. To maintain a strong and communicative relationship with God and depend on Him for everything and anything.

Other resolutions
1. To be a better friend to the people who matter --> A valuable lesson taught me this.
2. To be more decisive
3. To be less forgetful (number of handphones lost: 7 and counting, number of spectacles lost: 2, number of ipods lost: 0 (I HOPE I NEVER LOSE MY IPOD))
4. To be a more confident individual

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, majulah 2009, which translates into onward 2009 I think since majulah Singapura means onward Singapore in malay.

The precious moments I have had the privilege of enjoying during 2008, I will cherish forever.

See You!

Alex Tan
2nd Jan 90
HCJC; WRPF; SGC
Volleyball

JESUS!